Do you ever just feel frustrated with the presumed flaws you find outside, and even more so, inside yourself?
It’s a shame that nitpicking our flaws can be one of our favorite bad habits. But not anymore - it ends today. No more pity parties and no more negativity. Why? Because you’re worth so much more.
Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our shortcomings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.
It’s time to start learning how to practice self-love!
Here are a few ways you can start:
1. Nourish yourself and make room for healthy habits
If you’re totally new to the practice of self-love then start with focusing on nourishing yourself. Nourishing your body is the most basic form of loving yourself. The way we feed ourselves reflects how we love ourselves. So get good at nourishing yourself and you’ll lay strong foundations to self-love. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you. Don’t feel like going to the gym? Then maybe put on soul-soothing music and go for a walk. Create habits that are healthy, not just mentally but also emotionally.
2. Take time to meditate
Quick deep breathing can relieve stress. Start just by sitting on a chair, or on your couch. If you’re comfortable on the ground, sit cross-legged. Focus your attention on the breath and on how your body moves with each inhalation and exhalation. Read more about “How Do I Begin to Meditate”
3. Forgive yourself
We humans can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in learning and growing. You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect) before you can truly love yourself. Practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned. Be easy on your Failures - your kind to yourself even when you fail. You know that regardless of the outcome you’ll always have your own back. Just as you would treat a child or loved one you don’t trash yourself for failing but build yourself up with affirmations. You see every failure as an opportunity to grow. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Create reasonable expectations for your life. If you commit too much, you will constantly feel exhausted, run-down, and like a failure. Take a realistic look at whatever you’re taking on in life and see if it’s doable or if the mere thought of it all drains you. Reassess and set realistic expectations to set yourself up for success.
4. Drive & motivate yourself
When you love yourself, you start doing things because you know you deserve it. You start working on your health because you want the best for yourself. You develop a talent or a skill you never thought you had in you. You try new things. You unlock potentials. You get involved with people and at the same time get in touch with your inner self too. You know your unlimited potential to create value in the world. You know you can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it. You don’t settle for any less, because you know you are capable of so much more. You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life when you live with purpose and design. Your purpose doesn't have to be crystal clear to you. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. You need to establish your living intentions, to do this.
5. Be humble
When you love yourself, practice gratitude regularly. You’re grateful for even the smallest of things. You become humbler and recognize that we own nothing. All is a gift and you become profoundly grateful. You have an appreciation for others and want to help them achieve their goals. You become humbler and recognize that you are not on earth to see how important you can become but to see the difference you can make in the lives of others with the power of love.
6. Learn how to take an insult
Insults are never a productive or responsible form of communication. The person giving them is usually trying to make themselves feel important, and that reflects their own insecurities more than your reality. When you’re on the receiving end of insult, recognize that you don’t have to take that person’s words as your truth. See if you can find anything constructive that you should work on, but leave the rest.
7. Create a value system
The world will try to drown you in its loud and superficial values. Money, status, degrees, brand names, “likes,” it’s endless… Forget those values – create your own. What matters most to you? What kind of person do you hope to be? What do you value most in other people? Construct and own your own value system and the trending values the world is trumpeting at any given time will lose their importance.
8. Create a self-love mantra
When you’re feeling down, having a mantra you say to yourself over and over can help you come back up. A few ideas:
- I am enough.
- I'm worth it.
- I have everything I need.
- I choose to be happy.
Respect your uniqueness and allow your authenticity. We cause ourselves so much pain and suffering when we stifle our true nature and ignore our burning desires and dreams, for the sake of fitting in with the status quo and meeting the expectations of others. You are a one-of-a-kind unprecedented human being. There will never again be someone quite like you, and you are here to give the world your own special blend of gifts, passions, interests, and quirks. Allowing yourself to show up to life as your authentic self is one of the most empowering things you can do, and it can profoundly enrich your relationship with yourself.
9. Get some sleep
Sleep—it’s the most obvious, and yet still the most magical ingredient of self-care, and optimizing it can help you destress, get rid of some mental clutter, and be more productive. Listen to Deep Sleep Music and you’ll start to see a healthier you.
10. Stop comparing yourself
Comparison is a killer to self-love. And we aren’t usually very nice when it comes to comparisons, right? Instead, we take our greatest flaws and compare them to someone else’s greatest success. In short, you’re doomed to fail. Instead, realize that you write your story. Realize that you can’t compare your life to someone else’s because no matter how well you know them, you never know how they feel or how they perceive their life. Instead, spend your time and energy to nourish and build your path. surround yourself with people you feel good with. Oh, this is an important one! You may have heard Jim Rohn’s famous quote before: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Think about who those people currently are. Do they inspire, fill you up, and want what’s best for you? Just because you’ve been friends doesn’t mean you need to keep spending time together. Just because you’re taking a break from someone, doesn’t mean you won’t be close again. Be picky about who you spend your time with—don’t give it away in the spirit of mercy. (That’s not nice, neither to you or the other person). Be there because you want to; otherwise, don’t.
11. Make time for gratitude
Gratitude practices don’t have to be as daunting as they may seem. Start small by naming one thing about yourself that you’re grateful for today. Maybe it’s your ability to bounce back after spilling coffee, or maybe it’s your ability to savor downtime with colleagues. Whatever it is, own it! It makes you, you—and taking stock of that is what self-love is all about. Even if you don’t feel particularly powerful, think about how far you’ve come, how you’ve survived. You’re here, right now, alive and powerful beyond your knowledge. And be patient with yourself. Self-love may not happen overnight. But with time, it will settle itself into your heart. Yes, you may struggle, but you’ll look back on these moments and see how they were stepping stones on your journey to being the best you.
“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously."
Steve Maraboli
What self-love practices have helped you throughout your life?
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